I’ve noticed over the past six or seven years that my monthly mood swings have become less and less severe. I thought, “It’s all because I’ve become so mature. I have learned to control my moods. It’s just a frame of mind. I am so on top of this female thing.”
Then I changed my diet and started losing that weight I gained during those six or seven years. And every month that I lose weight, I am noticing that I am not as stable as I thought. About a week before the Red Dragon appears, I cry over articles and songs and thoughts and I can hardly even talk to people without at least one tear dotting my cheek.
I had become a kind of zombie, but now every time I cry, I tell my husband through my sobs, “I am so sorry! I don’t know why this is happening. I am becoming…a (sniff, sniff) girl again.”
This sounds like I am exaggerating, but it is actually kind of nice to fully FEEL again. (By feel, I mean emotional feeling, not the feeling that my insides are going to fall out while doing P90X.)
Emotions make life interesting. As I get older I am realizing that although emotions can be a weakness, they are also one of humankind’s greatest strengths. Emotions can inspire us to act, to hold back, to invest your soul into something or someone, to create art, to love God and to move forward with resolve during difficult circumstances.
And with that I say, “Bring it on, Red Dragon. Bring. It. On.”
I’ve been on antibiotics and steroids for the past week with this infection and haven’t taken by BC Pill because these drugs make it ineffective. I feel free! I’m not certain I’ll be going back to it. I felt like I zombie before.
Emotions are godly. And when we can harness them, they are powerful… and beautiful!
Emotions are powerful! I use to believe the lie that to have emotion meant I was weak. By the way, I think it is a great idea to stay off birth control. As I think I’ve mentioned before, I lost two years of my life to bc zombiehood.